


Just a Dream

by ArabellaTurner



Series: What Matters In the End [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Eventual Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Everyone Needs A Hug, Or at least it isn’t impossible, Post-Canon, Sort Of, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-24 18:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17709347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArabellaTurner/pseuds/ArabellaTurner
Summary: Alternate ending to What Matters in the EndWhat if when Jared woke up in the hospital bed, he woke up back in the original timeline?





	Just a Dream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whatteam_voltron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatteam_voltron/gifts).



> So I actually wrote this before I wrote most of What Matters in the End. I eventually discarded it and decided to just go with the happy ending, but I recently got a comment from whatteam_voltron about this, so I decided to post it.
> 
> I don’t know how good it will be since it is one of the earliest things I have written, but I figured it would be nice to send it out into the world!

Jared woke up in a hospital room. He had no idea where he was or how long he had been out. He felt disoriented and confused. His thoughts were a jumbled mess. He remembered that he was in a car accident and that Evan had called him right before he passed out.

But wait. That had happened twice. Only he only woke up in a hospital room once. Jared’s eyes grew wide as the horror of his situation dawned on him. He had no idea which timeline he was in anymore.  
He looked around his room. There were no cards or flowers. On his arm was a plain, white cast. He felt his face. He wasn’t wearing glasses. Jared felt panic settle in. His college aged version stopped wearing glasses. That version had no friends and his parents would take time to get to him. It made sense that he would be alone like this.

So did that mean it had all been a dream? Everything good and wonderful that he had found since he went back in time was fake? No! It couldn’t be! It was all too real, too wonderful, too perfect! It was too perfect, wasn’t it? There was no way it could be true. There was no way he could save Connor, and befriend everyone. No. Evan hated him and that was never going to change.

Jared found himself struggling to breath. He was so scared. He didn’t want to be back in the nightmare of his old life. He didn’t want to lose everything he loved! He started to sob. “Evan!” he cried out. “Evan! I’m so sorry, Evan!” He was shaking uncontrollably.

A few seconds later, a nurse rushed in. Apparently his agitated state had set of some sort of monitor. She gently rubbed his back and told him he would be okay. There was someone outside waiting for him.

“Someone,” Jared thought miserably. Just one person. He wondered absently which parent it was. “Can I see them?” he asked, sadly. “In a minute,” she replied. She finished taking his vitals. Apparently he had gotten pretty badly injured. A few of his ribs were broken and he had gotten cut up from the broken glass. He had been out for five days now.

Jared’s heart fell further. The second accident wasn’t nearly as bad. There was no way he got this hurt from it. Looking around his empty room once more, Jared felt tears well up in his eyes. He was truly all alone.

A few moments later, he heard voices outside his door. Then a nervous figure made his way inside. He was holding a vase filled with flowers. “Sorry you woke up before I was able to bring these in here. The other ones started to wilt and I didn’t want you to wake up to dead flowers.” The tears in Jared’s eyes began to stream down his cheeks as he stared back at Evan Hansen.

————

“How are you feeling?” Evan continued. “You were pretty badly injured there. We were all really worried about you, but I’m glad that you’re awake now. Alana and your parents are back at the hotel right now, but they’ll be here soon. We’ve been taking shifts to make sure someone was always here, ready for when you woke up. It’s currently 3am right now.”

Jared stared in amazement. Why were they doing this for him? “Connor,” he managed to choke out. He had to know for sure which timeline he was in and couldn’t figure out a better way to ask than that. “Yeah, the Connor Project’s secret is out. It’s been pretty crazy lately. You, me, and Alana have been taking some heat for it, but I don’t think there will be any legal action over the orchard. Alana can do pretty much anything when she puts her mind to it.”

Jared smiled despite himself. He knew how true that was. Well, he thought he did. He wasn’t really sure if anything he had experienced was real. He hoped it was though. He wanted to believe that in some other world, some other version of himself was happily friends with the others. He wanted to believe that there was a dimension somewhere out there where Evan’s smile was par for the course and not a rare commodity and where Connor was able to laugh along with his best friends instead of lying somewhere six feet deep. 

It was a sad thought to think about his lost friends, but at least he had Evan with him now. “I would have noticed,” Jared said softly. Evan stared at him in confusion. “If you had disappeared, I would have noticed. When I learned you fell out of a tree, I was worried about you. It wasn’t funny at all. I should have signed your cast, Evan. I also shouldn’t have said any of what I said. Connor Murphy was not a school shooter or a freak and you were not my family friend. You were my best friend, Evan, and if you would ever be willing to take me back, I would be honored to be your friend again.”

There was a loud crashing sound as the vase slipped out of Evan’s fingers and shattered to the ground. He stood there, frozen in shock. He hadn’t even been sure that Jared would want to see him there, but this was something that had never even crossed his mind.

“Evan?” Jared asked in concern. He hadn’t meant to overwhelm him like that! “Evan?” he said again. “Evan please! I’m so sorry! Please, it’s okay! I’m not lying or messing with you. I’m just an idiot who doesn’t know how to express my emotions. Oh, Evan. I am so, so sorry!” Jared attempted to stand up, but quickly realized his body wouldn’t allow it.

As he felt himself slipping, Evan suddenly rushed forward and caught him. Navigating him carefully back into the hospital bed, Evan sat down beside Jared. “I’m sorry too,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean to abandon or hurt you. I just got so caught up in my lies, I let some things slip.” Jared shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who messed up. And I’m sorry I ran away from our troubles instead of fighting them with you.” 

Evan smiled a little sadly. “They aren’t over yet. We could still try fighting them together.” Jared smiled back at him. “There is nothing I would like more!” 

That wasn’t exactly true. Jared would very much prefer to be back in the other world, but if he couldn’t have that, then he supposed this was the next best thing. At least he had another chance with Evan now. 

————

Jared stared lovingly into his best friend’s eyes. He wondered if Evan would ever see him as a best friend in return. Well, he supposed it would take time. It took time in the other world and that was without the added damage of the Connor Project and a year and a half of silence.

“Thank you for coming to see me. It means more to me than I could ever tell you.” Evan smiled back at Jared. He still didn’t really understand what was going on, but he felt weirdly warm inside. This person he was talking to wasn’t the same Jared he had grown up with. Somewhere along the lines, something had changed. 

“I was worried you wouldn’t want to see me,” Evan admitted. “I always want to see you, Evan. I always have and I always will. There has never been even a second in my life where you have not been the most important person to me.” Evan turned to yell at Jared for joking like that, but found his face completely serious. 

“We have a lot to catch up on, don’t we?” Evan realized with a small smile. Jared chuckled. “You have no idea!” Before Evan could ask what that meant, the door swung open and three more people rushed in.

Jared cried as he hugged his parents and apologized for his stupidity. He expected them to be mad, but they were just relieved that he was alright. Jared guessed that meant they knew that he had tried to kill himself, but that was okay. He would probably need therapy to deal with the weirdness of the other timeline anyways, so maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing.

Alana stood back in the corner, watching. She wasn’t really sure why she was here, but she felt like she was a part of this mess and she needed to be here to make sure Jared was alright. Now that he was awake again, she figured she could go.

As she turned to leave, she heard a voice calling out to her. “Lana!” Jared cried. She turned to face him, confused. She had never heard him call her that before. “Lana, please. Don’t go.” She made her way over to his side. “Thank you, Alana. I’m sorry I didn’t take the Connor Project seriously enough. I know how hard you worked for it. You truly are an amazing person!”

Alana stared at him in confusion. She wasn’t sure why he brought that up now, but she liked the look in his eyes. People usually didn’t look at her that way. “I’m glad that I met you, Alana. Please don’t go now.” Alana felt her heart swell. “I won’t,” she promised. There was clearly a lot she needed to ask Jared about, but for now, Alana was happy to just feel wanted.

————

It took a while before Jared was allowed to leave the hospital. During that time, Alana eventually had to leave to return to school and Evan to return to work. The three of them started texting a lot though. It wasn’t the same as it was before, but they were still important people to Jared.

The chat felt empty without Connor, Zoe, and Miguel, but Jared saw no way around that. Much to his delight, he learned that Miguel really was an old friend of Connor’s. That meant that whatever he had experience had been more than just a dream. From there it was easier to start picking up the pieces. He knew stuff about the others that he hadn’t before.

Alana was surprisingly easy to befriend. Now that Jared had seen her walls come down once before, it was easy to bring them down again. Evan was harder and they still weren’t completely there. The two of them were trying again, but there was a lot of damage that wasn’t easy to undo. Years of bullying followed by years of neglect didn’t suddenly melt away, but at least they were being more honest with each other.

Jared told Evan and Alana about his coma experience. They didn’t really know what to make of it, but it did help them understand his personality change a little. 

The three of them also fought hard to keep the Connor Project alive. After seeing Jared try to take his own life, Evan realized that his work wasn’t even close to done. If he wanted the Connor Project to ever truly mean anything, he had to keep it a beacon of light.

Much to Jared’s delight, in the midst of all the backlash, both Zoe and Miguel decided to get involved. It took him a few weeks to actually reach out to them, but eventually their names found their way back into Jared’s contacts.

————

Things were never going to be the way they were in the other world; Jared was just going to have to accept that. He was never going to be best friends with everyone and was never going to get Connor back. There was always going to be a hole in his heart that he would never be able to fill. 

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try his hardest to make things better. Even if the circumstances were different, they were all still the same people that Jared loved and treasured.

Sometimes when he closed his eyes, Jared could still see the six of them together, laughing. He hoped that somewhere out there, some version of himself was really looking at that view. At times those images filled him with hope, and at times they filled him with despair. 

But whenever the despair got to be too much, he would call Evan. It was a promise they made between each other back in the hospital, shortly after Evan told him the truth about his arm. Neither one of them was ever allowed to try to disappear again, because someone else out there wanted them around. And for Jared, at least for the moment, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I guess this wasn’t as depressing as it could have been. This also isn’t exactly an alternate ending, since in my mind it’s more like a different dimension. It’s basically the answer to what happened in the world Jared left. At least this way there can be some healing in both!


End file.
